it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
