so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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