I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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