I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
