the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
