Screwed.edu
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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