you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize