your thong is hanging out like whoa
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
