that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I AM VODKA MAN
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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