Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
