I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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