Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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