This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
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