It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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