If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize