ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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