Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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