You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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