Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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