Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
