I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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