she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
