i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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