I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
