Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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