he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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