Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i need some magic done to my vagina
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
