she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize