did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
