No awkward lesbian experiences without me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
