he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
