I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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