It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
