She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
