I cockslap morals
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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