Umm I'm too high to move.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize