you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
