I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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