help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
