if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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