she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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