I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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