why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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