just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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