Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The maid of honor just puked.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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