I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize