Since when is my name a synonym for head?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
