you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
