i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
