Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
