On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
