Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
