He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
