you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was born a porn star she said
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
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I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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