I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
