1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
